The One Item In My Closet I Don’t Dare Wear Out

I have had this item in my closet for over a decade, but I’ve only had the confidence to wear it out of the house four times. Even though it is one of my favorite pieces in my wardrobe, and it brings a smile to my face every time I see it, the fear of what people might say or think about me has kept me from wearing it out of the house. 

Yet, I can’t seem to get rid of it. Every time I consider donating or selling it, something tugs at me and I start to get sentimental. Inevitably, I pull it out of the donations pile and back into my closet it goes, back to just sitting there instead of being appreciated. Some days, I wear my ‘special item’ around the apartment just for fun, just because I love the way it makes me feel, but it is a side of my personality that I haven’t felt comfortable sharing with the world.

Why do we hesitate to wear certain things?

Social media has made it so we are constantly aware of, and drowning, in other people’s opinions. We know exactly how a random acquaintance feels about pretty much everything, and we can’t help but notice that it conflicts with how another random acquaintance feels about that same issue. Your close circle has opinions, your co-workers have opinions, bloggers, celebrities, even brands have opinions! Everyone is constantly sharing what they think is good, beautiful, correct, and appropriate. Or, more often, what is ‘bad’, ‘wrong’, ‘ugly,’ and ‘inappropriate.’

All of this leaves us with hundreds of different opinions jumping in the back of our minds whenever we get dressed, and with all these different perspectives, picking something that makes us feel great while pleasing everyone else too, is virtually impossible.

Expanding our comfort zones

I was recently chatting with my therapist about my ‘special item,’ and she asked me why I don’t dare wear it out. I realized that this item shows a side of my personality that is not normally reflected in my wardrobe, a more playful, cheeky, outspoken side that I don’t usually show through my clothes. I see other women wear things that make a statement all the time, like the famous boob shirt for example, and though I love the way it looks, I would really struggle to wear that. There’s something about wearing clothes that say ‘I am here and this is what I believe!’ that is really scary to me. I never want to offend anyone with my clothes, even though I know I shouldn’t feel responsible for other people’s feelings about my outfits.

My therapist mentioned that the way out of my comfort zone is not by jumping out of it, but instead, pushing the boundaries little by little to expand it. I can see how this is true. If you’ve seen my last few capsule wardrobes, you may have noticed that I’ve included small elements of animal print here and there, all in hopes of becoming more comfortable wearing it so I can hopefully gain the confidence to wear my special item out.

I am currently living in the Fear Zone. Daring outside of it moves me into the Learning Zone. Source: Gordon Franks Training

Testing the waters

At the end of the day, I do believe that the best way to get over the fear of wearing something is to simply do it. The nice thing about clothes is they are easy to take off - so if we are not feeling comfortable in something, we can just change! 

I decided to wear my special item out so I could test the reaction I would get from it. I wore it out and about in Brooklyn for a couple of hours while I ran some errands, and while I will admit that I did get a couple of double takes and a few comments (somebody asked me where the party was), at the end of the day, nothing really bad happened. 

What do you think of my special item? Did you like it, and would you ever wear it out? Let me know in the comments below. 

At the end of the day, I would be a fool to take myself and this channel seriously all of the time. The start of a new month seems like a good time to let loose a little bit, and what better day than the first of April! The worst thing that could happen from wearing it out would be that you are so offended by it that you unsubscribe. I doubt that will happen, but if it does, I think I will still be ok. Not all of us can suffer April Fool’s gladly. 😉